Not What It Seems
by 2originalcents
Summary: Cartman and Butters wake up after a crazy night and don't remember what happened at all.
1. Aftermath

**This story came to me last night and I thought it was really funny and cute, I just had to write it out!**

**Also, I am still working on Apology and Checkmate, but this was just a quick fic to work on until those get updated.**

**I hope you enjoy my lovelies! And I own nothing.**

Butters' POV

Oh jeez, I have such a bad headache, and I don't even know where I am! Last thing I remember was being at Stan's party. Maybe if I could just get up and turn on a light switch? But it feels like there's something really heavy draped across my waist.

Is this an arm? Wait, wha- Eric?

Oh crap! Why is Eric sleeping next to me? And, why am I naked? Why is he naked? Did we…I don't remember last night at all! Did we have sex? I hope not, that be awful. I don't want to not remember our first time together.

Oh hamburgers, he's moving… Should I leave? Will he be sore at me if he sees me here? Does he remember what happened last night? Oh God, he moved his hand so close to my… This isn't good. I can feel his right behind me.

I should leave. But his forehead is right against my shoulder, and he's snoring so quietly. Maybe if I just pretend to be asleep when he wakes up, he won't be so mad at me?

Hey, this isn't a pillow, it's his left arm. I've been lying on his left arm this entire time?

I wonder what happened last night. Did he drug me? Did he know what was going on? That doesn't seem like something Eric would do… Well, it does, but that can't be what happened. And I don't feel like I got drugged, I feel like I just drank too much. Did he get me drunk? No, I got myself drunk.

Did we even have sex? My bottom doesn't feel sore. I mean, I never had sex before, but isn't my bottom suppose to feel sore?

Eric's POV

Fucking bitch as fucking hang over. Fuck this, why do I always drink until I pass out? Fuck. Well, this pillow is surprisingly soft and warm… Wait a minute…Butters?

Why the hell is he naked? Why the hell am I? Why the hell am I holding him?

Shit, did this idiot get me drunk and take advantage of my sweet innocence? The bastard! But…did he? That seems like too complicated a plan, even for this idiot.

Is he still asleep? And where are we? …Oh I think we're in Shelly's room. Oh, glad she's in college or we'd both be dead right now. So this idiot is still asleep? Shit, should I wake him or just try to slip out? Knowing this little faggot I bet he's already awake and pretending to be asleep. What a bitch.

Great, what do I do now? What am I touching? Oh shit, I'm rubbing up against him! Stupid Butters! Why am I holding him so close to me? Fuck, I bet this little bitch is loving this.

But…I'm not hating this? God, my hangover is way too strong for me to be dealing with bullshit like this right now. Well I don't want to be the first one to 'wake up.' Butters got us into this mess, he's going to have to take responsibility. At least he has to buy me some fucking dinner.

**Does this style work for you guys, stream of conscious thinking?**

**Reviews/comments/critiques/etc are much and forever loved!**


	2. What Really Happened

**I'm just updating right away since I have it all complete, and it's so short, I might as well.**

**I own nothing an enjoy!**

"Wazzup Cartman! Butters, you came!" Stan shouted as he let his two friends into his home.

"Are you already drunk?" Eric asked as he took off his coat.

"Maaaaaaybe. Drinks are in the kitchen. One rule: Don't have sex on my bed!" Stan giggled as he went in search for Wendy.

"Fucking freak. You want something to drink Butters?" Cartman asked as the two walked into the kitchen.

"Uhm, a screwdriver would be nice."

"Is that the only drink you know?" The brunette rummaged through the refrigerator and grabbed the orange juice as Butters got the vodka and two plastic cups from the dining room table.

"Yea. I don't really know much about drinks."

"Well, I don't think there's enough stuff here to make you something good, so you'll have to stick to screwdrivers." Cartman handed the blond a cup and they tapped their drinks together. "Have fun tonight, you asshole."

Butters just gave him a small smile and almost emptied his cup in one gulp.

ooOO0OOoo

"Eric, you're so hot!"

"Shut up Butters! You are!"

After two hours of drinking nothing but screwdrivers and tequila shots, the two boys found themselves in Shelly's bedroom, making out in a drunken lust-filled haze.

Cartman managed to sit himself on the bed and he pulled Butters onto his lap. The two continued kissing as the brunette started running a hand up the blond's thigh.

"…Eric…ah…" The smaller boy sighed as Cartman gently sucked at the skin of his neck and began to unbutton his shirt.

"Eric…maybe…no we shouldn't…" Butters tried to push his hands away. Cartman noticed a cup on the nightstand, left by an earlier couple. It was still full of pure vodka and he put it up to Butters' mouth so he can drink it.

"No Eric, I don't want to drink anymore…"

"You-you told me you were gonna have fun tonight, Butters…" He drank some vodka himself and kissed the blond boy full on the mouth again. "Drink some."

Butters did as he was told and drank the liquor. Cartman sat the boy in-between his legs, ran both hands up and down the blond's inner thighs, and kissed his neck.

The blond woozily put the cup back on the nightstand and Eric started to fondle his chest. He attempted for the second time to take off his shirt, and this time Butters didn't try to fight him off.

Cartman pulled the blond on to the bed so he was lying down and the brunette put himself on top.

"So fucking hot." The bigger boy muttered as his mouth wondered down Butters' chest. His hands landed on top of the blond's pants, which he removed immediately, along with his underwear.

Butters shivered, and as Eric pulled away to take in the blond's appearance, he began to take off the brunette's shirt as well. Cartman then took off his own pants and boxers and the two were laying close together on the bed, naked and making out.

Cartman's arms were around Butters' waist and he didn't let up his kissing. After a moment Butters pulled back and gestured that he wanted the comforter on top of them, and the brunette complied.

A few more minutes of making out and Eric could sense that the boy under him stopped moving. He pulled away again and saw that Butters had passed out finally from all the alcohol he consumed that night.

The brunette kissed the blond on the cheek and made himself comfortable beside him, putting his arms around the smaller boy and resting his own head so it was comfortably on top of the tousled blond hair.

**Reviews/comments/critiques are much loved!**


	3. Finally Awake?

**This is the last chapter. I know this was all uploaded quickly and in one go, but I hope you all like it!**

**I own nothing, enjoy.**

"Eric? I know you're awake. You stopped snoring." Butters whispered.

"You know Butters, when I told you to have fun, I wasn't giving you the okay to date rape me. So this is the thanks I get for inviting you to a party? Fucking bitch."

Butters just smiled, knowing Eric didn't mean any of that, partly because the arm that was around him tightened its hold.

"You wouldn't happen to have remember what happened last night, would you?" Butters whispered as he placed his own arm on top of the one holding him.

"Nope. Do you think we had sex?"

"No."

"Oh…well that's good." Butters could detect some disappointment in Cartman's voice.

"Yea, that is…because…well, I want to remember my first time. I'm sure you do too."

"I guess." Cartman sighed.

"I think we should leave before Stan finds us here. It be hard to explain that we're lying in a bed naked together but we didn't have sex." Butters giggled.

"Want to get some breakfast?"

"That sounds nice."

The two got up, dressed, and headed out. They found out, however, that they didn't need to worry if someone found them naked or not upstairs since it looked like there was a huge orgy downstairs. People were passed out half naked with cups grasped in their hands. Butters and Cartman got out without disturbing anyone.

After breakfast Eric drove the blond back to his home.

"Thanks for the ride Eric. And the meal." Butters chirped.

"Anytime." Cartman smiled as he leaned in quickly to kiss Butters on the lips before he got out. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Yea, okay." Butters said, flustered, not expecting the kiss.

On his porch he waved goodbye to his presumably new boyfriend and walked inside his home.

"Young man! Can you tell me exactly where you've been!" Butters' father shouted the moment he walked in, his mother was on the couch crying.

"…Oh hamburgers."

**It seems like I could make this story so much longer, but I'm already working on so many others, I didn't want to work on another long piece. I just wanted to write this for some quick fun.**

**Thanks if you read all of it!**

**Reviews/comments/critiques are much loved!**


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